The Bond of Marriage

The Bond of Marriage

Marriage. A word that conveys many meanings. Many of those are cultural. Many are social. Many are personal. But some are eternal.

Marriage is a covenant between a single man, a single woman, and Almighty God. A decision to be married, and the action that results from that, is supposed to be, if all was as it should be, the most important decision that a person could ever make in their life, possibly. But in today's society, it most certainly does not hold that sort of significance in the eyes of most.

Marriage is supposed to be the boundary for sexual activity. Within a marriage, sex and sexual activities are supposed to be amazing. They are encouraged. "Why does it feel so good if we aren't supposed to do it?" is a question many young people ask. The answer is simple - you are supposed to do it. Just within those realms of a holy, eternal union with one partner. These actions are for reproduction, physical and emotional pleasure, bonding on many levels, and a variety of other reasons. But the problem is that today's young people do not honor that covenant. A variety of excuses are used to facilitate sexual immorality, but none of them are valid. We are told straight up, without debate to meaning, not to fornicate or to be immoral, in the Holy Bible. This should be enough of a reason for Christians all around. But there are practical rationales behind this as well. Sexual activity before marriage makes marriage less of an important event. What separates marriage from dating or courtship, especially if the couple lives and sleeps together before marriage? A name change? There really is nothing. Sexual activity before marriage, especially if it is with multiple partners, will raise the risks of STI's and other forms of disease. Finally, it will also damage a person emotionally; some people more than others. A person who has been sexually intimate, in a loving way, will leave a piece of themselves with that relationship when they leave it, and it is not something that is retrievable. This damage is irrevocable, and can be minute or gigantic, depending on the emotional content of the relationship.

Another problem with society's view of marriage is divorce. Divorce rates are catastrophically high in American society today. Young people (The younger, the more likely) are really more likely to be divorced soon after marriage than not. This is a terrible thing, when most of them swear a vow before their spouse and God, stating 'til death do us part'. Due to marriages that occur when the couple is too immature, infatuated and not in love, or other issues, divorce rates continue to become worse. And divorce is a terrible thing, because a divorce causes an emotional rift as well as the obvious outer one. If children are involved, it forever alters their lives and usually damages them. Divorce on a whole is a problem that less people have within the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, due to the difficulty in attaining an official divorce from the Church. A legal divorce can be performed as normal, but the Church would not recognize the end of that relationship in an eternal sense. However, divorces do still occur, and are usually for extreme reasons.

Speaking of eternity, that, really, is the ultimate idea behind marriage. The Church is one of the only religious organizations who teaches that, with absolute certainty, if the marriage is sealed in a temple, that the couple will be together... forever. Throughout eternity in the afterlife, as well as for our meager lives upon this planet (That we seem to value so very much while we are here). Why is it that the restrictions of marriage are so terrible to some? Why can a marriage not last? And why do people limit their marriages? I would certainly hope that, if I truly loved a woman enough to marry her and to bind myself to her, that I would be able to be with her for all of eternity, not just until death, which looms so eerily close to all of us.

Marriage is also something that people enter into too quickly, with a sense of rush about them, and perhaps with good reason. For, as mentioned above, our lives here are short - as described in Gladiator, they are merely "shadows and dust". Infatuation, as also mentioned above, is another huge factor. If two young people believe themselves to be in love, then it is difficult for anyone to convince them otherwise. The difficulty in this matter is that the decision really is up to the couple in question. Have they been dating long enough? Do they know each other well enough? Are they old enough? Mature enough? Can they do this, make this step? Do they really love each other? While we would all love to make this decisions for our children, friends, and family members, in the end, the knowledge is really theirs. If they search these things out, ponder them, and pray for guidance, they will know the proper course. In the end, those who are observing must simply give their advice and then allow the couple in question to make their decisions, and either succeed or fall as they might, and then be there to help them up again, if it can be done. The goal is, always, to preserve that holy covenant of marriage, and to fix any problems that arise, rather than chucking the whole thing.

This, indeed, is another issue in today's society. Arguments, problems, disagreements, infidelity, work issues, differing interests, health problems, and a whole range of other issues are common excuses for divorce. The problem is not that none of these are worthy of such extreme action. The problem is that usually, they are not. A real reason for a divorce does not come up often. Violence can be one of those. Infidelity. But some of the others are ridiculous, shallow reasons, and reflect perhaps the weakness of character or morals of one or both of the persons involved. If they had the courage to stick it out, and to try to cling to the relationship, and to fix things rather than just throwing them away, declared broken... they might find that relationships are indeed able to be mended in many cases.

Yet, the entire discussion is futile. For we do live in the latter days, although none know how exactly far along we are. And the world is corrupt. Most will agree on that as fact. We know that most of America is corrupt in ways. A good lady I spoke to recently said [paraphrase] that today's America makes places like the Biblical Sodom and Gomorrah look like Disneyland. Unfortunately, while we laughed at that statement, it is probably correct. Is it likely, then, that society is really going to maintain a high marriage success rate? A low crime rate? Peace between nations? Etc, etc, etc... doubtful.

In summary, it is my conclusion, and my opinion - indeed, my certain belief, that marriage is a holy, nigh unbreakable covenant. One should be prepared to sacrifice anything to make the relationship work, and one should be overjoyed at the idea of eternity with this person. Because if marriage is allowed to extend to its fullest, that is indeed what it can be. A marriage sealed at the altar in a temple of God for all of time and eternity is a beautiful thing, and it is something that simply cannot be taken lightly. Marriage should be entered into with careful thought, prayer, and communication within the couple. Marriage should be a bond that is honored, cherished, defended. Fidelity should be clung to. Prayer, study of Scriptures, attendance of church, physical, emotional, and mental relations, quiet time together, and so many more things should be essential parts of life. For no other relationship will be so important. No other connection so sweet. No other companionship so vital. No other fragment of one's life, no other events, actions, ties, or bonds... none compare to the immortal and intrinsic value, sheer beauty, and extraordinary capacity for love that can be found within the bond of marriage.